A Matter of Character
“Show me a man’s friends and I will tell you about that man’s character.”
Kris Vallotton
Friendship and character are concepts anyone and everyone can relate. If you’re an ‘80s / ‘90s child like me, you probably did make friendship bracelets and/or mixed tapes for your friends and change your “bff” three or four times, sometimes before recess in a single day. If you are a bit younger than that, perhaps you were in the era of MySpace, but the concept is the same.
My brother has this saying that I was his “first best friend.” Growing up literally one-year apart (“Irish twins” I suppose is the term), we did everything together and even had combined birthday parties for most of our childhood. I got a little on the tomboy side because I would climb trees and generally get dirty with him, and he had to endure the “girly” stuff, including Barbies (albeit – he generally chopped off their hair)… ok, so maybe I ended up more on the Tomboy side of the spectrum.
When we grew a little older, it was inevitable that we would have our own “friend groups” and have differences in interest and personality… and of course, after marriage, our spouses would be our current best friends, as it should be. He and I both know, though, that we are in each other’s inner circle – a place that transcends “friend groups” and differences in personality.
Friendship is crucial to all humans, in fact God designed us that way. To our youth, it is not only crucial to have friends, but, at all costs, to not be excluded. While adults naturally had their friendships tested and sieved through the years, our youth need some guidance to understand what true, loyal friendships look like. It is imperative that they become intentional as to what kind of man or woman they want to be and what friends will remain in their inner circle.
The intentionality of choosing what matters and what does not, reminds me of something St. Gregory the Theologian wrote in describing his friendship with St. Basil (two besties who couldn’t be more different in terms of personality):
We both struggled, not each to gain the first place for himself, but to yield it to the other; for we considered each other’s good reputation to be our very own… you must be convinced that we lived in each other and with each other. St. Gregory the Theologian (about his friendship with St. Basil)
Now, that is a friend anyone should desire!
That is why the next couple months are devoted to both friendship and the refining of character. Especially for those graduating seniors, our final departing words to them must be those of deciding to be intentional with their character and their friendships.
In May, for our Equally Yoked series, we will focus on some of the most foolish friendships (such as King Rehoboam and his friends) as well as the most rock-solid friendships (such as David and Jonathan) hopefully to highlight the difference. Our June series entitled Rise Up! will focus on the intentionality of our character that God requires of all of us – to do all things without apathy and with full effort and love of the Lord (no matter what it is).
Perhaps there is something in our modern world that tells us we ought not be vulnerable, show our weaknesses, ask for help, or admit we are less than stellar, but the Bible shows us the opposite. It is through our weakness we are made strong (2 Corinthians 12:10); when we are together, we can conquer more (Proverbs 27:17; Proverbs 15:22); and the unselfish is more blessed than the haughty (John 15:12-13).
Check out the upcoming months that will wrap up our school year … and see the sneak peak of our 2026-2027 school year. More details about that will be in our next newsletter, so please stay subscribed… big changes coming soon!